The six year olds were having a very hard time in their learning community because one of the bigger girls was hurting the smaller children, which actually was almost everyone. She pushed and hit them for no apparent reason that the teacher could discover. No consequences seemed to work, ignoring the behavior couldn't work, no reasoning worked - it seemed unsolvable.

Since the whole group was affected, the teacher decided to have some special group meetings for the purpose of working with the problem of bullying, or domination. Group meetings were a daily event for these children so they knew the procedures and could trust the process of being together for support.

The group gathered and the teacher told them that they were going to work together with "Julie" to figure out ways to help her stop hurting people. The first step in the process was to share in an affirmation process: to give everyone an opportunity to say something positive, something affirming, something caring to "Julie."

After the affirmations were expressed, then members of the group shared their descriptions of the behavior which was of concern to them personally. They used descriptive phrases such as, "Hitting me hurts." Members also expressed how they themselves felt about the hurting behavior. Comments included, "Yesterday you said that I am fat. I feel angry when you say that to me."

The teachers helped members of the group, including the child causing concern for the group, to consider what that child may need or want. The discussion suggested ideas to the child and were charted for all to see. One idea was that "Julie" wanted to play with children. The focus was on expressing what "Julie" wanted or needed.

Finally, ideas for how to help "Julie" get her needs met were suggested by members of the group. For example, "Julie" responded with a smile when it was suggested that maybe she might like to play with some of the children at recess. One of the children offered to invite her to play later that day.While there were still many rough spots in "Julie's" interactions with the children, they all were working together to encourage her to play positively with them. They knew they all had the support of the group which provided a security for them in working with a difficult situation. The process for "Julie" was both affirming and supportive, while clarifying limits and offering alternative ways to get her needs met.

Karel's Story about Bullying and the following analysis appeared in the book Thinking Together with Young Children: Weaving a Tapestry of Community, by Susan Hopkins, and is available from Susan Hopkins, 12959 Woolman Lane, Nevada City, CA phone 530-274-1862.

Susan comments on Karel's story:
Community was built into the structure as the group came together and everyone participated. Inclusion and equality were promoted as all members of the community worked together to help solve the problem: victims, bystanders, bully. Responsibility for the concerns was shared by all, but also was presented to the child causing the problem in ways which both affirmed her and also requested change. Caring and compassion for everyone were a central focus throughout the discussion. Courage was practiced in a safe environment as members of the community shared their feelings. Honesty and integrity played a role as people genuinely expressed their concerns. Creativity and diversity of ideas was promoted and accepted. Peace and nonviolence were practiced as problem solving skills were used instead of hurting. And finally, self reflection was required for all members of the community to be able to participate fully in the work of the group.